The magic # 3?

To have 3 kids or not to have 3 kids..... maybe I will just stick with my 2 (a girl and a boy). How could we have gotten so lucky?

Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and over the last few years my husband and I have gone back and forth on whether we should have another child. Sure there are many reasons not to have another child, but deep down I have a sense that I am missing something. Like a piece of my heart is not filled in. I have a feeling my husband feels the same way. This is why:

Me: should we try for another one.

husband: I like to practice, but I like the baby stage too.

Me: Well, I would like another one

husband: Well, we should get on it. I don't want my kids 8 years apart.

Me: are you sure?

husband: Sure.

Me: oh never mind!

He may be short with me, but I think he misses the baby stages. He really enjoyed the kids as babies.
As you can see though, I change my mind and waffle the idea.

Sure there are plenty of reasons not to do it, I could list a few:

• Less money
• Less time
• Cramped space 
• Tiredness
• Paying for another kid to go to daycare. 
• Likely demise of mother's career (see "less money," above)

The reason to have another one is not as compelling as it was with my first two. Sure lets have another one to keep the older one company, that box was checked. Genders covered--- check and check.

This decision has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart, since last March when my husband and I found out we were expecting but the a few days later miscarried. We were both so happy and accepting that we were having another child, but then devastated after loosing a child. I was only a few weeks along. I keep telling myself that god has a plan and if he really wants us to have 3, it will happen eventually.

You'd think that a person who had already decided to have two kids (without angst, without doubts) would have no trouble deciding whether to have a third -- but again, um, no. For all the reasons I mentioned above, the decision was much harder for the third time around, and Nick and I continue to waffle.

So the decision to have another child is still in the air, but I am hopeful that I can either find closure and fill that space or have a third child.

What made you decide to have 3 kids (if you do)?

I told you 3 times not to do that!

Oh the joys of parenting, and most of the time I feel like I am the bad guy! After a long day of work my husband and I both took our kids to swimming lessons. Well, after getting them to the Y, into their swimsuits and into the pool with their instructor, our 3 almost 4 year old son decided he was not going to listen and of course there is only so much an instructor can do to keep your child in check and listening.

So I and my husband both stepped in asking our son to stop moving down the side of the pool away from the instructors reach and possibly drowning in the pool. Of course another little boy follows his lead. My husband and I were both sitting next to this little boys dad. He thought it was funny that the two boys were causing mischief, but for us mischief with our son was a daily event. So after asking him 3 times to stay near the instructor, I removed him from the pool kicking and screaming and took him to get dressed. We had a long discussion in the changing rooms, that while we are in classes like these we need to be listening to our instructors rules and following directions.

So I let me husband know that I would meet him at home and I took my little guy home.

After a week of not listening, I was at my breaking point and wits end of not knowing what other steps I could take that would show him that his behaivor was unacceptable. Well, when we walked in the door I went into his room with 2 big black trash bags and started filling them up. At the same time he was standing there in the middle of his room sobbing. It hurt my feelings to see him so sad and upset, but at the same time telling myself to stand my ground and verbally telling him that his behaivor for the week was unacceptable and that I was very upset that he was acting out. I let him know that he was going to have to earn his toys back and that they will be in my room until he can show me his good boy behaivor.

So far its been 5 days since I removed every single toy from his room, leaving a bed, dresser and bare shelving. We have run into some incidences of him saying "NO!" but I keep reminding him that he still has to earn his toys back. Which has helped with some of the behaivor.

Things I have learned from this situation:
1. I probably should have put my foot down when all this behaivor started.

2. Taking toys can not only show a child who is boss, but helps them take responsibility for their actions.

3. Your not being the bad guy, you are setting rules and expectations that will help them when they are grown ups.

Never hurt me as a kid, when my parents took priveledges away. Why should it hurt him?